The more you know...

About five years ago my best friend and I spent a lovely day at Venice beach with all the other rif raf of Los Angeles. We ate pikza and mini donuts and sat around the drum circle smoking "cigarettes" until we were exhausted from doing nothing all day and decided to go home. During our ten minute walk back to the car past the river and the building with the graffiti mural we turned into a neighborhood and what did we see? A big duck pimp and four raper ducks having their way with a duckette. We were witness to a duck gang rape.

I have been thinking about this event while wondering what happened to the bastard children conceived on that fateful day so I decided to look into the dark world of duck gang rape. APPARENTLY...the duck pimp game is older than the Bishop Don Juan and these ducks are less picky than Wilt Chamberlain.

From my mouth to God's ear...the following was taken from an actual Yale University/ World Science report.

All of these duck shinanigans have led to the evolutionary development of "elaborate penises" and "cryptic vaginas" in the duck world. Basically, the duckette developed a vagina that corkscrews in the opposite direction of the ducks corky penis. It's like trying to put a cap on a bottle and it just keeps turning around and around because the ridges don't match up. Why they don't just lay eggs and fertilize them like other birds...I don't know. Who ever heard of duck coitus? Although...I am pretty sure fellatio is out of the question...what with no lips and all.


"girl...you know I love you...aaaah"

Seriously...imagine how long ducks have been raping for all this evolution to take place. The story continues. They really know how to strong wing a hoe. Since his bottom bitch developed the opposite corkscrew action to counter the screwy penis...he developed spikes on his penis (for traction of course). She responded with a big "fuck me no bitch fuck you" by developing false canals that lead to nowhere so she can't get pregnant by her raper.

And now you know...