Saturday, February 20, 2010
Parallel Universe: Part II - Our underwater counterparts
Oh Squeaky...could there ever be a greater love than ours?
(PhysOrg.com) -- Scientists studying dolphin behavior have suggested they could be the most intelligent creatures on Earth after humans, saying the size of their brains in relation to body size is larger than that of our closest relatives, the chimpanzees, and their behaviors suggest complex intelligence. One scientist said they should therefore be treated as "non-human persons" and granted rights as individuals.
If these dolphins were really so smart they would swim for ze underwater hills.
While this may open up marriage prospectives for those long in the tooth (and chin hair) looking to settle down with an individual, it will also give guys much needed competition in certain areas...ahem, if you know what i mean. What does it mean that dolphins will now be considered non-human persons? Can we put them to work so they can pay taxes? Can parts of the ocean inhabited by dolphins now be recognized by the United Nations as a sovereign state exercising power in the world? What the f are these scientists talking aboot? Scientist (from Canada), "its aboot democracy, its aboot freedom!" Apparently, these scientists think it is a crime to keep such intelligent animals in captivity or kill them and that they should have rights? Erum...okay...shouldn't this apply to all living things?
Of course, all of this aside, the most important question is whether dolphins now have the right to abort the tiny fetus inside its belly. Since dolphins may be considered individuals living in complex social structures, is the little baby considered an individual at conception. Can the mama dolphin squeak, "oh hell no, i am NOT about to raise another child in this world when I can barely take care of myself. Migrating across the ocean to find food is not easy and I will be god damned if I can going to share my food with another little bastard."
Oh...this world is so full of riddles!