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Friday, February 19, 2010

Parallel Universe




Don "Moose" Lewis announced plans in January for a 12-city pro basketball league composed only of white players (natural-born U.S. citizens, whose parents are both Caucasian). Lewis denied any "racism," explaining to the Augusta (Ga.) Chronicle that whites simply like "fundamental" basketball and not "street ball" ("flipping you off or attacking you in the stands or grabbing their crotch"). [Augusta Chronicle, 1-19-10)

The year is 2010. From a parallel universe where everything is the opposite of what we know, an all white basketball team breaks through the mucus membrane separating the two worlds entering our reality. Unbeknownst to them, they entered a world where prostitution is illegal, fish swim in water, and Oprah is fat. In their world, basketball is played for the love of the game and not for showing off by dunking after making 360 degree spins and the opportunity to attack fans in the stands. They come from a more gentle world where Mexicans are the paying customers and Asians have insanely huge eyes. When they play, the theme song for the Andy Griffith Show plays in the background. Theirs is a world of leisure. So, when they announced that they were going to create and all-white basketball league that would go on a 12 city tour to show us what the game of basketball is really about, imagine their surprise when they were criticized and called racist. Geez, they just wanted to give us a peek into their world so maybe we can learn what basketball is really about.

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